"Ask, And The Door Shall Be Opened ... ."
Reflections on a Sunday church service about the nuances of having faith amidst lostness.
Excuse me, but what’s this? ShrinkRap going holy-roller?
Well, if you call any reflection on larger elements in life like spirituality ‘going Jeezus on ya,’ then yes. But fear not: no preaching here, no proselytizing, no seeking to convert you or get you speaking in tongues. And no plate-passing for donations either! (But I won’t turn my nose up either!)
And really, sometimes there’s such an overlap amongst coaching, therapy, and spirituality that they complement each other nicely.
A little more than a half year ago I moved to Rockport, MA (from neighboring Gloucester, MA, home of the Perfect Storm, which seems to aptly describe my preceding decade’s life course). You may know Rockport for its ‘Motif #1,’ a rust-red fish shack jutting out in Rockport harbor with its multi-colored buoys on the wall and lobster and fishing boats floating quietly on their moorings, the vast Atlantic just beyond, beckoning.
Rockport is quintessential eastern New England – quaint artisan shops and eateries, and hundred-year old churches with ultra-white wooden steeples topped with brass wind vanes that sparkle against a baby blue sky in the bright summer sun. Culturally very music-oriented, Rockport is privileged to host the Shalin Liu performing arts center whose stage backdrop, when the dark curtains are drawn open, reveals a glass wall offering a magnificent unobstructed view of Rockport Harbor, almost as if it were open air. Like the magnificent classical and folk performances it hosts (with stunning acoustics!), Shalin Liu is a treasure.
I’ve missed the ritual of going to church on Sundays. And in this time of chaos-fueled angst, I’ve really longed for a community gathering with gentle, like-minded seekers, a place of composure, prayer, and reflection.
I grew up Catholic and part of that religio-cultural package was weekly Mass with its predictable liturgy and lots of sit-stand-kneel rotations. I suspect it served as a good stand-in for aerobics - well, it certainly kept you from nodding off. And back then - a bit further on the wayback machine - there was the weekly practice of going to Confession where you took ownership of your sins, asked for forgiveness and promised to sin no more and to do good works. And five or so minutes later, you got the forgiveness blessing and some penance homework. (It was generally mild, except for sins of a “carnal nature,” like sex before marriage with a person of the opposite sex or, just as bad, sex with yourself - ooh boy - then they threw the book at you. And if you even thought about having sex with another man’s wife (curiously, they didn’t consider the other way around), or God forbid, the notion of relations with a person of the same sex!, woe be to you. If you even brought that dirt anywhere near the confessional, they’d have to shut the place down and call an exorcism service!
But the practice of Confession fell off, in part because we entered into an era of “whatever I do is okay; it’s none of your g.d. business; and besides never show your cards and never admit to something you did wrong ‘cause that shows your naivete and what a pussy you are and gives a giant opening for your opponent to use it against you and that’s the last g.d. thing you want in a competitive economy, for chrissakes.” I suspect part of it also was the obliteration of moral self-ownership subscribing to the “I’m not guilty until you’ve caught me” mindset of defense lawyers who teach you to never, ever plead guilty even if you’ve got the bloody murder weapon in your hand.
This mindset then devolved to yet a more extreme version of denialism, the Trump-perfected model of not just not taking ownership for the wrong you really did commit, but doubling down in denial - yes, overtly lying - and then attacking the other person for even making the accusation in the first place, followed by suing them, and gaslighting everybody.
We used to call these people “pathological liars.” Now it’s been subsumed under the broader category of “politician,” alas besmirching those in public service who actually do live and work with integrity.
People who’ve adopted this ‘lie and cheat and snow everybody’ mindset get to a point in their lives where they really don’t know the difference between truth and lying; reality for them has simply become a matter of expedience. You do what you want and you say whatever you can get away with. Keep doubling down, upping the ante until the other side drops out, simply out of exasperation. Make it the burden of the other guy to prove you wrong. And until then, you’re scot-free. (Of course, that gets to such an extreme point that it’s eventually untenable, as no relationship - romantic, parent-child, or political - can continue. The other person finally comes to realize that they’re dealing with a flim-flam man.
And so, as I was saying about why Confession fell off, well, do you think a pathological liar would actually ‘fess up, kneeling in contrition in a stall the size of a phone booth? No, of course not! They’d lie in the confessional. So I’m sure they came to the pragmatic realization “hey, why go confess my sins if I’ve already told everybody I’m as pure as snow? I mean, I know it’s not true, but that’s the point!”
Truth be told, I suspect Confession also fell off with the pedophilia scandal - people essentially saying ‘hey, if the white-robed holy men can’t take ownership of their sins, why would I want to go tell them mine?’
Confession discarded now by the wayside, for good or ill, there’s something quite wonderful about taking time to sit, pray (!), listen to meditative music, and ponder some larger themes that we all need to be reminded of as they have such relevance to our lives in this chaotic era.
Christian worship services (there are many variants, e.g. Episcopalian, Baptist, Methodist, of course Catholic, and numerous others) generally have a selected bible reading that then becomes the theme around which the minister centers his or her sermon. (What’s a sermon? Nothing more than an elaboration on the key theme in that reading making it applicable to our current times.)
Today’s reading was the oft’ quoted piece where Jesus is telling his followers that when you have faith, the rest is a piece of cake. If you don’t have faith that God’ll show the way, then you’re less likely to find the way because you’ve basically closed yourself off to the idea that God in some mysterious way shows you the path. I know, it seems a little circular, but ShrinkRap- turned-theologian hopes to make it clear.
“Ask, and you shall receive.”
And in this particular passage is the reference that we’ve all come to adopt as mainstream wisdom - “Ask, and you shall receive.” Of course, in contemporary society, the preceding leap-of-faith condition gets lopped off, but it’s a key one. And so you truly believe that all you’ve got to do is pepper your request with lots of childish ‘pretty pleases’, and God will show the way and you’ll get what you ask for.
Now, of course, at a childish level of spirituality, it’s like saying “if you really believe in Santa, then all you’ve got to do is ask Santa for your coveted toy, and, voila, Santa brings it.
But, as we all know, even in the make-believe world of Santa, that’s not how it works. It’s more “if you believe in me [Santa] AND you stop being naughty and turn the corner towards niceville, THEN you get the dreamed-for toy.
So likewise here. Jesus (for my non-religion-oriented readers, the ‘Jeezus’ spelling earlier is used only in reference to an exasperated exclamation) says to his followers “If you really, really believe that God will guide the way and provide what you want, then you’ll receive what you need.”
Now first, let’s be clear. Trusting that God will give you what you need (e.g. my daily bread, and [formerly], my daily wine) is substantially different than you getting what you WANT. Because what you WANT for your envisioned stroll through life’s rosy garden is one hell of a lot different than getting what you NEED while you’re not even near the fragrant garden path. (Of course, it’s in this machete-needed jungle that many people first utter the ‘oh Jeezus’ vulgar prayer – “oh Jeezus, get me out of this mess, I’m so lost, I don’t even know where to begin.”
So in this gospel reading, Jesus is basically presented as saying ‘hey, just ask, man, I’m fast Freddie and I’m here for you and I’ll make magic happen, you just wait and see! Gimme a call -1-800-Jeezopensdoors..Till then, bro.’)1
And this is where I think so many get misled. (I bet if the four journalists got together and fact-checked each other and thought a little more about their target audience, they certainly would’ve seen this point needed some elaboration. But, hey, hindsight is 20-20 while current sight is blurry at best.)
It’s about what happens before the focal moment-of-need turning point because that’s the necessary buildup to “having faith.” That’s “faith formation.”
And what so many seem to miss is that faith formation is not just an “okay, okay, man, I believe! Now gimme my prize.” What goes before is that to have faith, it’s not just a matter of abracadabra magic-making words. You sort of have to have a pre-faith and open yourself up to what I term the “spiritual imagination.” You’ve already got to do some work, take some action. It’s the nitty-gritty of walking the talk, stopping your naughty stuff, doing nice stuff and moving ahead even amidst uncertainty, but trustful that a larger wisdom is giving you the ‘OK’.
“You show me you’re on the path, I’ll show you the next turn.”
It’s kind of a quid pro quo. “You show me you’re on the path, I’ll show you the next turn.” Conversely, “If you’re just talkin’ big but you haven’t done the work to be on the path so far, then as far as I’m concerned - now don’t get me wrong here, I love ya and all, but, man, if you can’t get on the path and more or less continue to try to stay on the path that I’m on, and all the while you be like ‘oh yeah man, I love you as a guide…’ well, as far as I’m concerned, you can walk right off a cliff.” Now, of course, Jesus would never say that. But if I was Jesus, I would.
And that’s the part I think most people (including this armchair scripture interpreter) get wrong so often. We’re saying “you show me the way, and then I’ll believe in you.” And he’s saying “you believe in me and do the work that goes into that, and I’ll show you the way.”
So too with this wishy-washy notion of doors. Just say the magic hokus pokus Jeezus word and the door’ll open.
And you stand in front of that door, and you wait, and wait, and no open. “But I said the magic word!” (And Jesus is going “you ever encountered a metaphor before? Before you just spew out the magic word, you’ve got to put in some hard labor and grapple with uncertainty and during THAT time is when you were supposed to start practicing using the call-upon word. Because the concept takes a while to set in. In other words, you do the foundational faith-building in times before the present crisis. Yeah, you can start now in a moment of crisis, but don’t expect genies coming out of your cracked tea pot just because you rubbed it saying the magic word.
So the idea here is the journey, the pathway, the right door, only becomes clearer when you’ve already started some of the faith work. And you’ve got to admit, from a God standpoint, it makes all the sense in the world. If you give the demanding whiners everything they want just ‘cause they cry ‘mama,’ they’re never going to learn to sit with the hunger and do the baby growth work that helps them get their needs met.
Now, two more thoughts about doors opening before Shrinkrap leaves the Sunday pulpit.
First, there can often be a number of doors that you’ve got to choose amongst. And again, maybe that’s also where the faith piece comes in. You’re saying “I don’t have a clue what’s behind these doors,” And thus your faith prayer then is “Oh good lord, help me choose the right one, and if it’s a bust, help me deal with that and find the right door.” That to me is a real faith prayer.
And second, and this was the one that made me almost laugh out loud as I was jotting down these reflections (during the service, no less) – what should you do when you’re in front of the door? Is this where you do the magic phrase “open sesame Jeezus?”
I could imagine God rolling his/her eyes “Com’on’ man, stop waiting for the magic trick2. At least show me you’re invested. Do something! It’s in the doing that you get the guidance. What’s the next thing you do after you get to the door? You knock! And you might even knock a few times. But you know what, if nobody answers, guess what, you may have the wrong house.”
And if that's the first time you say "Oh Gajeezus!” then instead of your exclamation being an expression of exasperation, let that be your opening faith prayer seeking guidance in the midst of your lostness.
This selection from Rumi’s “Love Dogs” sums it up so succinctly:
.... "This longing you express is the return message." The grief you cry out from draws you toward union. Your pure sadness that wants help is the secret cup.
And that’s the sermon according to ShrinkRap. (Thank GOD!)
These are the preserved writings as taken down by four of Jesus’ scribes - essentially followers who are sort of journalistically inclined and who showed up at every presentation, standing-room-only, as well as the small impromptu ones huddled around an oozing leper or a pre-stoned whore with luscious long tussled auburn hair (never blonde, mind you).
I’d say ‘its,’ but nobody’s ready for a genderless supreme being that’s really more like a primordial omnipresent nebula.